i'll always be learning.

i'm learning my lesson.

everyone does at some point. i mean, it's nature. you learn what not to say, what not to do, what not to think, feel, react.

i wish i could say that i'll never go through this again. i wish i could say that i'll protect myself next time, i'll won't trust again, but i know that's a lie. the exact same thing will happen again. i'm not going to be the bitter bitch i am right now. i'm not going to be angry and mean and standoff-ish. i'll giggle and blush and shake when i'm around him. i'll think about him all the time, and i'll talk about him all the time to my friends.

i'm going to take this situation, i suppose is the best way to put it, and file it away forever. i'll keep the knowledge forever and i'll remember the lessons this time.

enjoy every moment.
stand up for what you believe in.
voice your opinions and your thoughts; never keep anything to yourself.
never trust an ounce of alcohol.
they always lie; whatever sweet things he whispers in your ear, it's a lie, a falsehood, a fib.
be wary of friends and how they interact with each other.
when it's over & done with, let it be done. it's meant to be.
never compromise your beliefs to spend time with him; never leave your friends for him, either.
& i suppose this is the most important one learned:
it's never true what they say, so always, always think twice before moving forward.



you know, the funniest thing is, he doesn't even remember anything. god, i got a little crazy and i let him call me baby. well, i get so confused and frustrated, forget what i'm trying to say. yes, i remember what you told me last night.



i mean, i guess i had it coming.

is it so hard to keep a guy interested for more than a week?

the funny thing? i still feel beautiful. this is it for now. no more. i'm done talking about it. i'm moving on to much bigger and much better things.





goodbye.