things are different. i've moved on, and in an excellent and wonderful and i-can-stop-thinking-about-him way. but overall, things are crazy. i mean, if anyone had told the me from a year ago that this was all going to happened, i would have laughed for an hour. the year 2008 was crazy for me. absolutely bat-shit insane. i went through some of the hardest times, and i made some pretty big mistakes. i grew as a person, and i gained valuable friendships that i wouldn't give up for the world. but lately, this past month has given me experiences that i never thought would ever happen. from things revolving john's party to everything about brandon to new years eve to julie's party to everything, things are so different for me. i'm doing more, seeing more, experiencing more, and i love it. this was the college experience i wanted. i have wanted and wanted for so long, and i've had so many things holding me back, and now i'm finally getting what i deserve, and i'm standing facing the new unknown, grinning and my back to the past.
i'm so excited for the new year, and i'm really excited for school to start up again. i'm looking forward to everything, and i'm going to make sure that this year is better than last year. i know i can't stand to go through what happened last year. from january, to finding out the lies, to april and the heartache, to the summer, to school, november, and finally these last months. i can't believe that this year is already gone, and i'm so excited to start fresh. i'm going to be a better person and i'm going to make all who love me proud of me.
i wish i could let him know what he means to me. i wish i could tell him that i'm scared. i'm scared to death of getting hurt again. not just physically, but emotionally. i'm scared i'm not going to be good enough for him. i really hope that i am. and one more thing? you're all i want.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment