I'm moving out.
Soon, I mean. Not today. But I'm looking at the apartment with one of the roommates tomorrow afternoon.
And of course, my parents don't think I can do it. Of course. I mean, I understand why. I do. But I'm not doing what my mother did. I don't know why she thinks that's acceptable for me, but it's not. I'm not living at home until I'm married. There's a whole wide world out there for me, and you can bet yourself that I'm going to explore it. I can't stay here anymore. I'm sick of telling them where I am all the time (and lying to them about where I really am), I'm sick of sharing a room, I'm sick of feeling guilty about not being at home. I'm in college, and Mum and Dad, I'm sorry college didn't work out for you, but I'm going to enjoy my college years. I'm going to do stupid things and live on my own and be poor, and I'm going to love it. I'm going to cherish these years that I'll never be able to get back after I graduate.
Anyway. I feel terrible for Chris. He's sick, and, well, thank you jesus for him not being a great big BABY about being sick. I can't stand that so much. He's just the same, if not a little more quiet about it. I'm sick of having to completely take care of people while they're sick. Seriously. But I just feel bad because I'm also more quiet while he's sick because I don't know the right thing to say. I never know the right thing to say or do when I'm around him. Whenever I see him, my stomach does flip-flops, and my heart jumps to my throat. I still get nervous when I look into his eyes, those beautiful blue eyes, and my skin feels alive whenever he touches me.
Oh, sweet jesus, I hope he's not reading this.
I mean, it's been a month. One month since he got my number and this wonderful adventure began. Stephanie thinks we're moving a bit too fast. We've already spent the night together twice, and I understand why she's so concerned. This is exactly how I get myself hurt. And you know, the thing is? I don't even care.
So. I will enjoy this. I will cherish it, love the moments, live the moments.
:)
About Me
- lyssanne
- I'm a 19 year old college student who just wants to see the world. I dream of the world and I get through the days at school and working at a 24 hour diner at night. I count down the days until I'm a grownup, all the while never wanting these days to end.
She has future plans and dreams at night
When they tell her life is hard she says that's alright
She's a wild one with an angel's face
She's a woman-child in a state of grace
When she was 3 years old on her daddy's knee
He said you can be anything you want to be
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