this is a good thing,

but I haven't been posting because there isn't any reason to anymore.

I mean, things are happening. Things are happening like crazy. For starters, Michael Jackson died, along with Farrah Fawcett. Jackson was only 50 and Fawcett was only 62. Both younger than my grandmother. Granted, most grandmothers should be old, but still. I feel as though 50 and 62 are far too young to die.

It turns out there is a chance I can move into an apartment in late July versus the middle of August, which would help me out a lot with everything that I have planned at the end of July, more notably the wedding in Virginia.

When I say there aren't things needed to be posted on here, I really mean that things with Chris and I are going great. Really great. I got drunk last night in front of him. Really, really drunk. Stupid, hitting my head against a chair drunk. I'm having people telling me about what I had talked about last night and I completely understand why people don't remember what they had said while being drunk. Embarrassing, yes. God, yes. It's unnatural how embarrassed I am about it. But I did have fun. Oh, yes I did. And I totally feel like this was needed. I mean, I've drank in front of him, but never like this. I did four shots in an hour. I think. Well, an hour and a half, I suppose. And then I got to do two more shots after the worst of my drunk-ness.

Anyway. There's not too much to add to this posting. I wanted to be able to tell Chris that I updated my blog (finally).



:)

moving on out

in August. Of course the apartment that would have been available now has already been leased.

Duh.

Anyway. Here's a list of things I'll need. If I don't write all this down somewhere, I'll never remember everything.

Bedroom
Bed
Bookshelf (2)
Desk
TV (and TV stand)
Laundry baskets (at least 2, if not 3)
Storage drawers (for dresser)
Under-the-bed storage (2)
Curtains
Printer
Mirror
Trash can
Clothes (duh)
Movies and music

Bathroom
Towels
Bathmats
Toothbrush holder & cup
Basket to keep things in
Makeup container
CD player
Hair dryer
Flat iron straightener


Living Room/Kitchen
Couches/Chairs
Coffee table
TV
Rugs (?)
Toaster
Microwave
Rice cooker
Grill (of the George Foreman variety)
Dishes
Glasses
Silverware
Silverware HOLDER
Pots & pans
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. We still need a lot for the kitchen. I haven't even thought about all of this.

And I really need to get some sleep.

& not a moment too soon

I'm moving out.

Soon, I mean. Not today. But I'm looking at the apartment with one of the roommates tomorrow afternoon.

And of course, my parents don't think I can do it. Of course. I mean, I understand why. I do. But I'm not doing what my mother did. I don't know why she thinks that's acceptable for me, but it's not. I'm not living at home until I'm married. There's a whole wide world out there for me, and you can bet yourself that I'm going to explore it. I can't stay here anymore. I'm sick of telling them where I am all the time (and lying to them about where I really am), I'm sick of sharing a room, I'm sick of feeling guilty about not being at home. I'm in college, and Mum and Dad, I'm sorry college didn't work out for you, but I'm going to enjoy my college years. I'm going to do stupid things and live on my own and be poor, and I'm going to love it. I'm going to cherish these years that I'll never be able to get back after I graduate.

Anyway. I feel terrible for Chris. He's sick, and, well, thank you jesus for him not being a great big BABY about being sick. I can't stand that so much. He's just the same, if not a little more quiet about it. I'm sick of having to completely take care of people while they're sick. Seriously. But I just feel bad because I'm also more quiet while he's sick because I don't know the right thing to say. I never know the right thing to say or do when I'm around him. Whenever I see him, my stomach does flip-flops, and my heart jumps to my throat. I still get nervous when I look into his eyes, those beautiful blue eyes, and my skin feels alive whenever he touches me.

Oh, sweet jesus, I hope he's not reading this.

I mean, it's been a month. One month since he got my number and this wonderful adventure began. Stephanie thinks we're moving a bit too fast. We've already spent the night together twice, and I understand why she's so concerned. This is exactly how I get myself hurt. And you know, the thing is? I don't even care.

So. I will enjoy this. I will cherish it, love the moments, live the moments.



:)

of course i gave in

and let Chris read my blog.

Well, parts. I let him read good things about himself. The first couple of entries when Chris was around. Not the last one (even though I just fixed it).

I'm so exciteddddddd. i'm looking at the apartment we could potentially be moving into on Thursday. I could potentially be living on my own in a matter of days. This is so exciting it's not even funny.



Oh my god, it's almost 5 in the morning. Brilliant. So much for waking up early in the morning to be productive.

oh wow.

Well, I found out.


And I should have just gone with my gut instinct.

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.


And true, he did say he's done everything but. But what does that include? I mean, my definition could be completely different. But I don't know. I don't care either way if he is or isn't. I don't. It's, I'm just so fucking scared that he's going to take off now. Me and John talked about it. It makes sense to him. Total sense.

And of course I started freaking out before I told him. What he told me, I will never forget. No guy, no one for that matter, has ever been that sweet to me, ever. I can't believe that he said that. It was amazing. "I know you're nervous, even though I don't know why you are nervous around me, and I know you're scared that I'm going to leave if you say something, but listen to me when I tell you this: I will not leave after anything you say, unless it's 'this is not working out.' do you understand?"



Well. Definition of tonight: amazing & spectacular. with a little dash of complicated.

st. augustine

is just too damn far from woodstock.

I finally got my tattoo retouched. It looks great-but it doesn't look like the original. It's all purple flowers, not red and pink. It looks great, don't get me wrong, but I don't know if I'm 100% happy with the retouch. The flowers do look great though, so I'm excited for finally having a re-inked foot. I absolutely love it when people see it and tell me they like it. It's probably one of those things that just makes my day :)



Chris. I don't even know what to say about him because I can't even focus my thoughts about him. He's amazing. He's gorgeous. He's the most absolutely, wonderfully, most thoughtful man I've ever known. I love just being around him. His laughter makes me laugh. I can seriously be having the worst day ever and he can make it all better. And, we get along great. We joke with each other perfectly. We are the beer pong champions, for christ's sake. Stephanie's getting upset because we're so cutesy, and I may roll my eyes about something he said, but then I smile because I get so happy about what he says. I can't believe that someone feels the same way about me. I mean, what did I do to deserve this?