passion.

Passion.

Something I have too much of. And I know it. I know it all too well. I let myself open way too easily.

But, oh lord, I can't help it. Not when I'm with Chris. Everything is so different this time. I try to tell that to Asha and Stephanie. And I think they understand somewhat, but they don't know what I'm feeling totally. I can't even begin to explain it. Not out loud.

I know I'm feeling too much. I'm feeling too much for him, and oh, how I want things to work out perfect this time. And I know it will on my end. And he can see how scared I am. I know he's scared. But, I don't know.

And I know he wants to read this (I don't know why people are so curious about blogs. And if you're reading this, Chris, well, then, I'm sorry for everything you're about to read), but I just can't let him in 100%. I have to give myself some room to land on if this all falls apart. I'm waiting for the day when I get the couple of days of no calls. I'm waiting for the uncomfortable phone call, the reasons he'll give. And I know he keeps telling me it'll be okay, but everyone else said that to me, and look what happened.

I'm so passionate, and it always ends up hurting me in the end. But heaven help me if I'm not going to enjoy and cherish and, well, like him for the time I do get to spend with him.





I can get drunk off of his laughter. I could spend forever looking in his beautiful eyes. I nearly fainted just by looking at him. He is absolutely perfect for me.