oh no.

I did it. I did the naughty. I did the worst thing I could possibly do.

I told him I'd give him another chance.

I went over last night and we just talked, mostly. I told him I can't be hurt like that again. He told me he can't stand to be strung along. I told him I was hurt more by that text message than I should have been. He said he can't take it back.

I can't believe I did that. There is something majorly wrong with me. Seriously. What would my friends and family think?

GOD. And nothing happened. Nothing major, at least. But it was nice. What we did do. I just, I don't know.

Should I give up dating and just go back to seeing/whatever-it-is-I'm-doing with him, or should I keep trying? Should I go after P? Should I try with Muscles?

I do like Muscles. I think. I haven't talked to him recently, which is okay, I'm pretty sure. He's four hours away, so that's okay. And he's really easy to talk to. And he has a love of sports and music, which is always good. But. But he is very into church. And I'm so afraid of that day, that day when he asks me to go to to church with him, and even if I do go, I'm not going to lie for sake of a relationship. And I don't want him to be upset with me because what I believe.

And same with P. What am I supposed to do about that? I have no idea about him, and I still can't stop thinking about him. But I know he goes to First Baptist of Woodstock, and I can't do with that. And I don't know if he would be open to just being respectful to my beliefs. I would be to his. And I want to stress that expotentially to him, to anyone. But the way he looks at me, oh, it just drives me wild. And, I just, Jesus, this all scares me so bad.